Note: This is the transcription of this video in my Youtube channel. If you have topics on faith/youth formation that you want me to cover, please do not hesitate to leave a comment here. Thank you for watching.
Many people have been asking me about the source of my confidence. But you know what, confidence is not in my genes. It is true that I am an extrovert: I get energy from being with people, but energy and confidence does not necessarily come hand in hand.
I remember my first performance on stage: it was my piano recital. I was in Grade 1. I was so jittery that I wanted to get it over with. While I sat on the piano stool, my legs hardly reaching the pedal, I scoured at the audience and saw my parents. They were looking at me with proud eyes.
That kept me going, that even today, I’d remember them present in any event that requires confidence and talking to a huge crowd.
You know, my parents are gone. But their presence in my life are still greatly felt, so palpable, that they seem to be just around the corner.
But I guess, this confidence to speak in front of the camera, does not come only with the support of my parents. I have taken great inspiration from people I know and love, who have been with me through thick and thin, whose heart bled when I hurt them, or who accompanied me even in my nastiest of times.
That’s when I know that I have people who believe that I can stand tall in front of a great wide audience, no matter whether they’re 15 thousand, or 15 people. I’d just imagine that they’re all there, and telling me, that I can do it.
It’s the same thing with Jesus. Even greater. When I look at the Sacred Heart, what I see is not just the face of Jesus, but His heart. Isn’t it that after looking at the face of a friend, you want to know whether the friendship the person offers is true: you have to look at the person’s heart to prove it.
Look at the heart of Jesus! It bleeds when I hurt Him; or it sustains the wounds when I too am wounded. He is someone who wears my shoes, so He understands, even if I feel that no one listens. He’s like my parents, my best friends, and even more. He can be with me 24/7 when anyone with a physical body cannot.
Not at all times can people be present at every performance, even at life’s moments.Tweet
It is even more often, that as a Jesuit, I am alone to give talks, or alone when missioned, like going off on a solo adventure. But there is something about my faith, that tells me, that someone cheers for me.
I also suffer from self-doubt, it is a terrible feeling for someone who’d be on stage. That’s why I pray before the lights hit me. Prayer connects me with Jesus, and all those whose heart believes in what I can do, or believes in what I aspire to share. That’s where I take my confidence.
And I guess, you too, can anchor your confidence in the Sacred Heart of Jesus.